There are hundreds of things that goes through a person’s mind when they’re meeting someone new for the very first time. While some observe small things about the other person, others notice an unusual habit and then there are some who notice everything, be it unusual or not.
Let’s be honest, we all judge and at times we don’t even know about it, we are being judgemental about the other person. The whole decoding process is different for different people, but then there are some things that unite our subconscious minds, and we are not saying it, this has been proven by science.
We all know about the feel good hormones that our mind produces which includes Dopamine, Oxytocin and Serotonin, which helps us in refraining the stressful feeling of Cortisol. Now, these are the logical explanation behind, why we judge people? We judge others because it gives us a certain kind of happiness or satisfaction or assurance in our own self.
However, the answer to how we judge is a rather long yet fulfilling, which the scientists have discovered and shared with us. There can be various ways through which one can judge, a new person that they’ve met. So, we decided to share with you six ways on how you judge or are judged by the other person, and this is done so that, the next time you’re meeting someone new, you know what to and what not to do, in order to have an impactful first impression.
1. The Clothes and Colour you wear.
Many say that you should always dress for the job that you want, but the colour of your clothes are as essential as the kind of clothes that you’re wearing, and shoes too. According to research, a person’s income, age and political affiliation can be judged by their shoes. Colours also play an important role over here, while darker tones are perceived as authoritative, lighter tones are perceived as friendliness. Similarly, power, knowledge and integrity are given off by the colour “Blue”.
2. Speech Pattern.
Your speech pattern tells a lot about you because, in the end it comes down to how well were you able to communicate with the other person. While some consider sharing life stories to be authenticating, others consider it being a mere attention stunt. Similarly, while some consider light abusing to be a hint for being ‘real’, others take it as disrespecting. So, always be attentive to the other person in terms of their speech pattern and get adjusted to that, however, don’t be fake.
3. You talking about yourself.
Everyone likes to communicate with a person who is as good of a listener as a speaker and while everyone loves themselves, it can be considered rude and egotistical to the only talk about yourself. Try to not sublimate every conversation back to you, try to listen to the other person, as a good listener always gets more attention than a good speaker. And you might not want to be perceived as self-absorbed and narcissistic.
4. Repetitive Nervous habits.
We all have some nervous habits which we often fall victim to when we are anxious about something. Some bite their nails, while other keep on setting their hair or fidgeting with things around them. We might not even know about our own nervous habit, but the other person can catch it instantly, specifically when it’s happening repetitively. So try to keep it subtle and calm yourself, there’s no need to be nervous.
5. Your facial expression.
A person’s facial expression says a lot about them, one can get a lot about the other person’s mood through their expression. Things like if the other person is smiling or not, if you are looking into their eyes or not and many other things can determine if the person is actually interested or not. The way you choose to express yourself is very important as it portrays if you’re a negative or a positive person.
6. How often you check your phone.
Technology and mobile phones are good’s (more like human’s) gift to the mankind, however, we are too dependent on it now. When was the last time when you spent your entire day without any interaction with a technological device, can’t recall it right? It’s almost impossible to live without phone or more like the Internet, today. But when you’re meeting someone for the first time or having a conversation with them, try to avoid looking at your phone, as it’s considered to be borderline rude. As per research the constant usage of phone while having a conversation with a person lowers the duration as well as the quality of interaction and no one wants it.
These are the ways how someone judges you or you judge someone else, and apart from receiving satisfaction and happiness, we judge someone to make out their longevity in our life. It’s done to analyse if you can trust the other person or not. And, one can never go far with a person who comes off as manipulative, self-absorbed, rude and narcissistic.
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23 January 2017
Jyotsna Amla