Science dictates that only women can get pregnant. Rule of the law. The thumb rule. Whatever. Right? Wrong! Men, too can get pregnant.
A wonderful Arnold Schwarzenegger movie as seen below offers sufficient proof!
But then maybe we’ve always had that wrong; it’s fans of actresses too who get pregnant, regardless of whether they engage in any reproductive process.
Regardless of whether they’re themselves connected personally to a starlet, as fans, it’s easy to become pregnant.
It’s a three step process; easier than you can imagine. Moreover, a technique more effective than artificial insemination.
Step number 1: Mindlessly obsess over an actress’ personal moment, a moment as personal as her getting pregnant and carrying the baby bum
Step number 2: Get so involved in the life of someone who’s practically not even aware of your existence that you really lose clue of your own being
Step number 3: Hype someone else’ private (or personal moment) so much that, whether or not their due date appears, you’re overdue. In the sense that in your salivating fandom, you’re due for some therapy.
That’s the way the world works… in the star-obsessed, deity-worshipping India where actual gods aren’t the only gods; it’s Bollywood stars as well.
Why else do you think something as normal as an Alia chal hatt, oops Alia Bhatt and So dumb Kapoor… oh sorry, Sonam Kapoor being pregnant is being obsessed over?
Today’s India is a slightly different India; Alia Bhatt and Sonam Kapoor alone aren’t trending on Twitter; their baby bums are.
Solely Ranvir Singh’s movies don’t trend on Twitter; his bum does too.
One’s glad that the unpurchased baby diapers that may soon be stocked by Alia Bhatt and Sonam Kapoor’s respective households haven’t yet made their way onto our news screens.
But that too could become national news?
Though, it won’t be any different.
After all, aren’t we a country where few bother about the lack of transparency in the mysterious death of Netaji Bose but where the public is aware of minute details about little Taimur?
The former an actual freedom fighter who went down fighting to make India free, the latter, a kid whose freedom, being part of a filmy clan, is being snatched from him and for what? So that the star-hungry, minute-by-minute news update obsessed Bollywood fans can keep their dimwits dimly lit by news that has zero substance or value.
But it’s not little Taimur’s fault.
It’s not even a fault, is it?
It’s just how things are; where if you don’t read news that elevates your entertainment quotient, you don’t feel that your plate is full.
Just like intellectually enriching news updates that suggest where Virat Kohli partied last night with Anushka “throw the waste in the dustbin” Sharma or what new car did Hardik Pandya buy?
Truth be told, knowledge is free, no longer expensive and is even available on WhatsApp; an instant messaging app that became a university in India.
But then, who asked students to enroll in this university where the syllabus is often bogus, peppered with lies and served with spices that eventually produce a horrendous, uneatable taste?
It’s us, right? For it’s us who obsess over celebs; do unauthorised PhD’s on glittery lives that may have as much substance as the nutrient value in cup noodles.
Surely, loving your favourite actors is no crime; it’s very natural. The way things are. So understandable. But hasn’t time come to perhaps let them be; let Alia Bhatt and Sonam Kapoor’s baby bums be.
For ultimately, it’s theirs; as fans, we have a moral right to cling to our own human bums and not an actresses’ baby bum. We are, after all, normal, sane, well meaning humans; we cannot-and must not- become poopy creatures who write white papers on suffocation.
Our Bollywood idols love us fans. But maybe not our obsessive mindsets!
In a world where you can do anything, remember to breathe and calm the hell down. Let your celebs be. They’re mortals, remember. Just as you are. The only difference, if any, is that they’ve worked hard to stand on the pedestal of showbizz from which they extend their appeal to the wider world. You too have that pedestal, with respect to whatever vocation you’re involved in, whatever careers you are pursuing. The only catch is, theirs is the limelight, in your case, there’s none.
But again would you want your wife or your sister’s baby bum to be the focus of the town and not their work?
Calm down, sit back. Pick up a book, log out of social media. Let Alia Bhatt, not related to Salman Butt and Sonam Kapoor, definitely related to Anil Kapoor be. Let them breathe!