“Asia Cup Will Be Held In Dubai, Greta Thunberg To Possibly Attend The Event Minus Donald Trump”-Ganguly

There it is!!

The rivalry that you’ve all been waiting for. Once again, and perhaps for the hundredth time, or maybe in its multiples, shall the fan see two among the most widely-discussed and cricket-loving nations in the game meet in Dubai, the destination for Asia Cup.

But wait, wait.

Before we get down to the business of ranting Pakistan Zindabaad or India Zindabad as per our cricket-loving sensibilities, here’s what you ought to know.

Earlier, it was known that Pakistan would host the Asia Cup. This is precisely when “The Lord of the Off-Side” threw a googly.

Mr. Saurav Ganguly of the BCCI confirmed that the Asia Cup will be held in Dubai, the very place from which Tom Cruise jumped down from a cliff where perhaps Mr. Donald Trump should’ve been standing in the first place.

Remember Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol? Not the movie dedicated to Casper the friendly ghost?

Yes, the land of expensive property and countless camels- Israel are you listening- is going to be the final destination for the Asia Cup 2020.

Anyways, getting down to serious cricketing talk and no-nonsense, what’s important is that both India and Pakistan are going to participate in this epic tournament that will obviously not feature Japan, not because they do not have a team.

Well they do, it’s just that they are busy finding the next Samurai who will captain the Men’s team.

No, sorry! That’s incorrect. Cricket, hasn’t thus far, despite decades of trying, succeeded in convincing batsmen to have a go at each other using swords.

Gentleman’s game, after all, right?

More on – not moron, for that’s me- the matter takes us to a report in The Times of India that stated that “due to the ongoing political tensions between the two countries, India and Pakistan have only met in major ICC competitions since early 2013.”

Meanwhile, a little birdy also confirmed that during none of these events was Sarfaraz Ahmed found goring on cheeseburgers or trying “Hare Patte Ki Chaat!”

In fact, India, the current champions of the Asia Cup- and I haven’t yet said 2020, for only the almighty knows what will happen in the future- will be expected to challenge Bangladesh, Pakistan, Sri Lanka to their full might.

Just see their form, barring Wellington Test!

But here’s something that should concern everyone. That Asia Cup will be held in Dubai should not, of course, become news to get distracted.

We die-hard cricket-loving fans must continue to support our respective sides. And in case, Pakistan, led by the remarkable Babar Azam (who’s much more than someone who plays the cover drive quite like Kohli) fails to win a game, there’s always the Dubai Expo 2020 to visit for fans tired of seeing India beat Pakistan time and again.

Let’s just hope that there’s enough competition in an event that’s a genuine crowd-puller. Not only because Asia is responsible for giving this great game of ours- timeless talents from either side of the border- in Wasim Akram, Sachin Tendulkar, Hanif Mohammad, Zaheer Abbas, Kapil Dev, Sunil Gavaskar, and a concrete fortification which Shoaib Akhtar couldn’t get the better of on many an occasion.

But also because it is about time, it’s about time that India and Pakistan resumed normal cricketing ties for that’s the way the sane behave. That is what the future warrants or beckons: change.

Can we, for once- forget all the politics and get down to serious cricketing business as professionals?

The very fact that it wasn’t started ever by a cricketer, let alone by a devoted fan, should itself compel the administrations to resume normal ties once again.

Come on, people!! What are you waiting for? Greta Thunberg to call honorable Mr. Modi and Mr. Imran Khan?

Disclaimer: this was a piece of satire, do not take the piece seriously, barring the information about Asia Cup to be held in Dubai. Rest alone is an idiot cricket fan’s churning of imagination, rather the lack of it!