God Must Be Kind! Modi Ji Praises India During Coronavirus Outbreak. But Why?

The most beautiful day is not when you get your salary or when the blessings of the elders lead to a big breakthrough in your life. Nor is that the most beautiful day when your girlie tells you that you’ve trimmed down and that, this is the ‘time’ to go meet the “Fockers”. Well, the movie is just as good, truth be told.

But on a serious note, the most beautiful day, truthfully speaking, is not when an Uber turns up at your doorstep on time or when your wife goes to visit her parents, leaving you two, and no, I didn’t say Netflix and you alone.

It’s quite simply the day when your great, honorable, and respectable – and Shashi Tharoor sir is sending more adjectives in the meantime- ends up lauding you.

So O dear Indian; constant maker of plans for Goa, lover of Bengali sweets and the land’s women, mid-afternoon sleeper, the Tinder-loving Tender youth, a cross-between a cryptic chatter on WhatsApp and a harmless gossiper- awake!

Shake dreams from your hair “O’ Pretty Child!” Let Morrison rest in his grave.

Your Prime Minister, whose surname sounds awfully similar to a credit rating agency- and you don’t have to act Moody about this- has praised you!

It’s a sweet day in the neighborhood simply because your Prime Minister Modi Ji has lauded your spirit, while here you are in flesh and blood.

So what really happened?

Apparently, before we dive deep into that world, here lies India empty, strung with nothing else but barren emptiness, the seeming erroneous sounds of panic in these times of Coronavirus lockdown having subsided a little bit.

The very media platform that has, since decades, made a name for itself in the world of honest reportage and incisive coverage of world-shaping events- CNN- has reported the following events in lines with Shri Modi Ji’s praise of his countrymen:

“The discipline and spirit of service you have displayed during this period is unprecedented,” said Modi of the difficulties faced by many during the unprecedented country-wide restrictions.”Today, when millions of people are inside their homes, some of us might wonder how will they fight this battle against coronavirus alone … But please remember, none of us are alone. The strength of 1.3 billion Indians is with and every one of us.”

Apparently, Modi Ji, it is confirmed, has asked the country to go a step further on April 5, which is now almost upon the Indian public.

He wants them to switch off all the lights and light up candles on April 5, 2020.

This isn’t Modi Ji’s idea of playing “Bhaago Bhoot Aaya” or the perennially creepy game we called during childhood: “Dark Room.”

He wants us to maintain some decorum and self-discipline in the wake of the earth hour.

And as law-abiding and fascist-fearing, sorry, god-fearing citizens of India, we ought to do so.

Else, prepare for?

For what; missing out on posting social media updates the very next minute of this colossal event, what else?

Next up, it seems that our doting Prime Minister may also want us to do any among the following or who knows, a combination of the following:

1) Throw all Vivek Oberoi movies from our film collections?

2) Dance when no one’s watching wearing clothes that tribute the Indian autorickshaw, the most keenly spotted sight on Indian roads whether or not there’s another rotten mammal around.

3) Start an online campaign to dedicate the Bharat Ratna to India’s dutiful politicians, some of whom have dedicated their lives to the fight against corruption; such as, Amit Shah, P (not pee) Chidambaram, Sharad (not dumb charade) Pawar, a man whose surname fittingly rhymes with power.

4) Beg for Nintendo to release a film called Mario returns starring Shri Arvind Kejriwal in a leading role. Imagine the luscious fun of watching a former diligent IIT pass out in a dress with gallice.

5) Phone Vidya Balan to wake up Mumbai each morning for each of the remaining periods of the Coronavirus lockdown.

6) Suggest a better hairdo for Mr. Donald Duck, no sorry Donald Trump, one that can beautifully co-exist with a world already having a lot to deal with, given there’s Boris Johnson and something on his head that looks like hair.